NoMercy hope your ok.

Nomercy you loved your brother  and you blamed yourself because of what he did. This is sounding really bad. I could never think of one out of my five younger siblings dying from stress.   i tried to cheer you up and all I did was make myself cry. The day you came to me i was there crying for you. I didn't know what to do because I have had many people come to me for this situation. But i could never help i was always the guy crying with them. It is painful to hear a friend has lost someone he or she holds dear. I encouraged though that your brother wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself and I was scared you'd do something really dumb. I was scared and sad at the same time. but what was I suppose to think I have heard this happen so many times and then it comes on the news another death. I can't help crying more. i can't help crying on my friends shoulder and blame myself for not helping any more than that. 

But u did help me u made me better person by showing me that I have something to stay here for to carry out what my brother would want me to do which is live on and do me and that is what u showed me that day.. u said: what would ur brother say nd want u to do: and it appeared in my mind that u were right I need to carry out what my brother would have wanted me to do and I do thank u so very much and for everything uve done